So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
me + whiskey = a bad person
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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