lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
