Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
