i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
