i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
