You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
