Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
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