would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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