What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
