Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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