Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
