Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
