Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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