she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
