So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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