so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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