You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
