ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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