Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
