If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
