Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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