Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
