I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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