i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
