I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
