dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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