yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
