My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
