so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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