A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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