So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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