i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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