Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
