she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
