i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
