friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
