she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
