i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
