Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
