My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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