You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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