we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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