I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
