I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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