i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
