I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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