So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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