my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
