never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
