brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
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