even my farts smell like vagina
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
