We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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