Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
