Me too!
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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